The Chronicles of Chris Miao: Part Ten

(This shall be my first full-fledged attempt at crafting a part of the Chronicles. Let’s hope that all manages to go well.)

Act 2 Scene 5

[Enter the Troopers]

001: Alright, it’s time to get serious my dears. We shall need to contact H with immediate urgency.

[Enter Chiabby hologram, from the in-room entertainment system]

Chiabby: Yes!!!

The Troopers are caught by surprise.

001.5: What’s wrong with you? Couldn’t you at least give us a warning before you appear?

001: I fully agree with my twin! What if I thought it was a Luncheon attack and I blasted you to smithereens?

The Duchess: Don’t we all secretly wish for that to happen?

001.25: HAHAHAHA!

Chiabby: Hmmph! Whatever did I do to deserve this shit?!?

001.5: Ever since the day you came into existence.

001: Now on to serious business, Chiabby. Time is running out and it is imperative for us to inform you of the significant intelligence that we have been offered by Horny Harris.

Chiabby: Wait a minute, do you mean to say that Horny Harris has now realigned his loyalties?

Superhunk: Yes, and my Mummy Ang is in peril!

001.25: Chiabby, you must inform H at once that Luncheon is already wary of 004 and Mummy Ang.

The Duchess: Luncheon has already unleashed the terrors of The Girl and TCB, who are hot on their heels.

001: And as such, making it exigent to ensure the safety of 004 and Mummy Ang. We now proceed with an update of our current situation. We are still in the midst of finding the actual location of Luncheon’s sinister Forrow Me. Our search will probably be impeded by the following factors: the vast geographical boundaries of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland; the symbolic lack of information on how the Forrow Me products look like; the presence of a multitude of distractions in this colourful country; and most importantly, the presence of Luncheon and her intransigent army of Forrowers, who happens to be in this part of the world right now as well.

001.25: 001, you remind me of one of the half-written National Unity essays that’s languishing on my desk back home.

001.5: And have you managed to get all that into that minute brain of yours, Chiabby?

Chiabby: Yes! Are you not impressed with the feat of mine?

All: NO!!!

Chiabby: Arghh! Tell me again! What did I do to deserve this shit?

All: Everything.

Chiabby (in a pretentious whine): I shall let H directly correspond to you while I go off to a corner and nurse the broken heart of mine.

[Exit Chiabby]

[Enter H hologram, from the in-room entertainment system]

001 jumps at the in-room entertainment system, attempting to hug the hologram.

001: Miss GOH!!!

H: Yes, I know that you miss me a lot, I miss you and our little bitching/gossiping sessions too. (Aside to 001.25 and 001.5) And I want to see the two of you in my HOD Office first thing in the morning when you finish this mission. You have no idea how terrible your CT2 results have been.

001.25 & 001.5: Actually we do.

The Duchess: H, now that Horny Harris has defected over, what would my role in this mission be? Also, given the trying circumstances that we are affronted with, how are we going to be able to carry out this mission smoothly without hiccups?

H: Yes, Your Royal Highness, I was just about to address those concerns. Now Troopers, following the call that Horny Harris had received from Luncheon, we have managed to track down the origin of the call and limited the area to be somewhere in North-Western England.

001: Hmm, that will mean that Luncheon and her deleterious supplies of Forrow Me would most probably be lurking about North-Western England as well.

H: Exactly. We have managed to pulled a satellite out of orbit, which is now focused upon the distinct Luncheon signature which 004 had managed to implant through the tainted Toblerones.

001.25: Horrors! The Luncheon has consumed a product of my beloved Switzerland!

001.5: Excuse me, there’s nothing fantastic nor lovable about Switzerland at all. New Zealand has to be so much better.

Superhunk: H, how is it that we have the finances to actually have a satellite dedicated to tracking Luncheon when we are not even able to build a proper gym within the school premises? The development of my chest muscles have been compromised! See, my right and left chests are disproportionate in size. Do you want to touch them, H?

All except Superhunk: Eww!

The Duchess: I thought we have already been operating independently of VeeJay, why would we want to be associated with them? If CPM knows of us, he would only want to tap into our operations in order to raise more funds to pay for his expenses at Jumbo Seafood Restaurant.

001 & 001.5 (speaking and clapping in unison): The twins can do nothing but applaud in admiration of the wonderful and straight-to-the-point statement made by Your Royal Highness.

H: While that definitely is the ugly side of the truth, the true truth is that this operation has now been brought to the attention of the CIA and they suspect Luncheon for also being involved in possible firearms deals and illegal money-laundering activities. As such, the CIA will now be financing this covert operation and also provide all sophisticated equipment necessary to result in the successful apprehension of Luncheon.

001: So where exactly is Luncheon?

Back at the headquarters, H calls up a map on her screen.

H: From what I see, she is now within the compounds of Anfield. Oh dear, another identity has been registered by the satellite, ScouserSeet. How is this possible?

001.25: The PE department must be in cahoots with Luncheon. That will explain everything, from the involvement of The Girl and TCB, to even how Superhunk had accidently ran into Terror Tan during the pursuit back at the Treehouse. Luncheon must have had shared those tainted Toblerones with them.

001.5: That will explain those detestable slides that have been flashing on the plasma screens around VeeJay, glorifying the disgusting Liverpool.

The Duchess: That will explain why Paul Tan has been trying so hard at getting me into trouble.

Superhunk: You mean even Miss Tan is on the other side? Oh no oh no.

001: That definitely provides a plausible explanation for the situation. H, the plot thickens, and what do you reckon we should do?

H: Troopers, you shall proceed immediately to Anfield upon receiving the gadgets that have been issued to you. I will be investigating into the extent that the PE department is involved with the plans of Luncheon and update you through the iPhones that each of you have been given. Upon your next correspondence with Horny Harris, do bear in mind to inform me as well, as I would like to question Horny Harris regarding a few matters. Troopers, be careful when you approach Luncheon and use your powers if need be. Meeting adjourned.

[Exit H]

001: Well my dears, we had better brace ourselves for what lies ahead of us, I am sure -

At this moment, someone knocks on the door, and something heavy can be heard being placed on the floor.

001: Oh dear, who is it this time? This hotel is so not private!

001.5: Is it me, or do I hear someone playing “My Happy Ending” by Avril Lavigne?

The Duchess: Why not let us just go open the door together? Just in case anything happens, at least we can protect each other.

Superhunk: Never fear, Your Royal Highness, I, Superhunk, with my muscles, will protect you at all costs.

001.25: And what if the person outside happens to be The Girl? I’m sure your biceps, despite all that gymming, will not be able to stand a chance against those rippling arms of hers.

001: Everyone, be ready to attack if need be. Twin, freeze the person if you have to; Your Royal Highness, strike him with lightning if necessary; Superhunk, morph into a replica of him to confuse the person; 001.25, render us all intangible if he chooses to attack us and I will blast him into nothingness.

The Troopers open the door, only to find a gleaming white box before them. They look down the corridor to search for the person who had left the box there, only to see a person cloaked in black dashing off. Just before the Troopers can give chase, they are blinded by a burst of white light that seemed to be emanated from the person’s body. When they look again, the person is nowhere to be seen, with only a shimmering and sparkling trail left in the wake of that mysterious person.

[Exuent all]

I’

ll say it here then. HIDEOUS!!! Haha, yeh, I miss you girls too. MUN outing!!! YY